Second chances at love – how soon is too soon?

There has been some controversy in the media at the moment about Peaches Geldof’s widower, Tom Cohen, dating fashion model Daisy Lowe. You see, Daisy was a very close friend of Peaches and some people consider it too soon for him to move on – others think it inappropriate. The panellists on “Loose Women” on UTV discussed it recently and opinions were mixed.

I see it as the perfect answer. Both were obviously devastated; he was angry, confused and lonely, having lost his wife and mother of his two boys; she had lost her close friend. They were united in grief and soon that friendship turned to love. She knew Peaches; she knows the boys. If the relationship develops, Peaches’ memory will be kept alive in their home. The children will have a new mother; Tom will have another chance to love and be loved.

Then the “Loose Women” panellists’ discussion took another turn.  This was the scenario. If you died and your husband found happiness with a friend of yours, would you give the relationship your blessing? Obviously we have to suspend our disbelief here!

It is something I have thought about. When first married, I was adamant that if I died and GG found happiness with someone else, I would haunt him forever! I would be that mischievous poltergeist hiding the keys and making strange noises during the night!  But that was when I was young and foolish. Maturity and life’s lessons have given me a new perspective. I wouldn’t mind. First of all, I’d be dead, so I would be past caring.

Secondly, good people deserve to be happy and I would not like to think of GG on his own, as he is a very sociable person. He would end up talking to himself, (he loves to talk) or he would store it all up until he met someone and then he wouldn’t stop. I can visualise him chasing people around the village for a chat.

Of course, I hope we have many, many more happy years together. But if we don’t, then he has my ‘permission’ (not that he would need it) to move on. I know plenty of people in second relationships, the partner having died and all of them feel blessed to have found love and companionship again. I read somewhere that you are more likely to marry again if you had a happy marriage first time. It makes sense.

How would I feel if that new love was a friend of mine? That is a more difficult question, but I have heard of dying wives organising their husbands’ futures. I have some lovely friends and, after all, I know him better than anyone. So maybe that can be my new project – find a suitable partner for GG, just in case I die first. Obviously, I am not serious as there would be nobody quite good enough!!!!

What do you think?  Do you have strong feelings on the subject?