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5 Irish Women share what it means to be Fierce in Midlife

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Hilda
Monday, 19 February 2018 / Published in Friends and Family, Health & Wellbeing, Home, Love & Relationships, News, Rants and Random Thoughts

5 Irish Women share what it means to be Fierce in Midlife

A year ago, I was one of fifty over-50 bloggers (and the only Irish one) to launch The Fierce 50 Movement worldwide. This has now evolved into Forever Fierce: The Midlife Revolution, embracing all women at that empowering stage of their lives and has now grown to almost 5,000 members around the globe. I’m delighted that the Irish involvement has also expanded considerably. 

My two previous posts featured two women who shared why they were FIERCE at midlife. Their stories resonated hugely with many of you but, if you missed them, you can read Marie’s story HERE and Jennifer’s HERE. 

Today, exactly a year after our launch, I am using my platform to share the answers of five more strong, fabulous, Irish women to the question below:

What does it mean to be FIERCE at midlife? 

Their stories will give you hope, and fill you with admiration for they are all courageous and feisty women.

1 Kerry Manning-Colson

Midlife has presented me with challenges.  Lots of them – from health challenges, to a marriage break-up, dating in my fifties and the inevitable progress of time.  My hair has turned silver in parts, my neck has sagged and hair has sprouted where it shouldn’t.

I am fiercely determined to be fabulous despite it all.  I honestly believe that no matter what is thrown at you – you have a choice.  Embrace it with as much positive energy as you can muster (and that isn’t always easy), or you can let midlife steamroller you.

Yes, I have a walking stick – but it is a stylish one!  I embrace fabulous fashion, travel, food and all that life offers me.  Hopefully inspiring other woman to be fierce in the face of midlife.

It is in the face of the harder things that you learn how to really be fierce.

2 Deborah Blacoe

Freedom, liberation, emancipation.  All words which have connotations of a former struggle. All words which conjure up pictures of the just reward for belief in a ‘cause’ or the search for equality. They are not words which one would automatically connect to a middle-aged woman, living out her life as a stay-at-home housewife in an upmarket, manicured suburb of Ireland’s capital city, Dublin.

And yet, when I consider my present state of mind, my self-belief, these words and all the synonyms which could possibly be used to represent their meaning, I can absolutely pay testament that they represent me, a fifty plus woman who, to all intents and purposes, has become invisible to the rest of the world. I am invisible because I am deemed to be inherently ‘barren’, useless and past my sell-by date.

I am not worried about this perception. It is exactly this conceit which has given me my freedom. My freedom to be fierce, to be present, to be true to myself. In short, middle age has made me fierce. If I am considered invisible, surely no one will mind if I become a little eccentric? No one should care if I speak my mind, no one should be upset if I choose to disagree with the majority? I can now own my own thoughts, my own beliefs, my own feelings, because I have reached a point where I have finished the battle for position and for credibility.

Age and experience has given me a status of perspicacity which cannot be achieved except through maturity. I have fought the battles, I have cried the tears, I have juggled the balls, and I survived. I have battle scars, but they only serve to remind me that life gave me hurdles and I jumped over them. I am woman and I am fierce.

3 Marie McCabe

When I think of the word fierce and relate it to me and where my life is now, I think of it as a very strong sense of myself that comes right from the core of my being. At 61, I’m totally at ease with who I am and where I’m at in my life. This strong sense of myself hasn’t come easy. It’s evolved over a lifetime filled with many challenges along the way. However, everything that I’ve lived through has made me who I am today.

I like to think that I’m a kind and loving person and help in my own small way to make life more pleasant for those with whom I interact on a daily basis. I’m reminded of one of my late mother-in-law’s many wonderful sayings……’whoever you are be noble;  whatever you do do well; whenever you speak, speak kindly; give joy wherever you dwell’…… Beautiful Eileen was in my life for 12 precious years and left an indelible mark on my being and my soul.

So yes, I’m fierce at 61 and raring to live my life in a quietly fierce way for the days, months and years to come. Whatever life throws at me, I know and believe deep within my being that I’ll handle it as long as I’m totally true to myself and I don’t try to deny any of my past……not one single bit of it.
I stand proud and fierce as a wife, mother, grandmother, sister and friend. Roll on the next phase of my lovely life.
4 Dolores Andrew-Gavin

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says “Oh crap, she’s up”!

Being fierce to me is about standing in my personal power and boy that feels good.  No longer affected by the judgements or perceptions of others, my biggest question has become “What is non-negotiable for me”.  

In other words, what does the empowered woman I have grown into need in order to function and be who she wants to be?

Being assertive is so much more powerful than being passive aggressive and bearing in mind the term “we reap what we sow”, my journey into assertiveness has been extremely rewarding.  I am better in and with relationships as I am not looking for someone to fulfil something in me that I needed to fulfil in myself.  

Being fierce at any age is good, being fierce at 50+ is empowering!

5 Anna de Marigny

New beginnings and reinvention pose a challenge at any stage in life but more so, I think, when we hit 50.

When my marriage of 20 years was standing dissolved along with my husband’s business and my sense of stability, I felt as if I was driving a car, which careered downhill with the brakes failing.

It was a dark time, and only my sense of responsibility towards my two lovely daughters and my work as a secondary school teacher kept me from crashing totally.

I was born in Ireland because the maverick rugby-loving Galway father was keen to have a son to play rugby for Ireland. My parents always referred to Ireland as “Home” even though home for us was Durban, South Africa, where we were brought up.

My mum had moved back to Galway after my dad had passed away, so I was eager to be there to help her as well. I took the plunge and arrived in Ireland in early 2008 just as the country was about to experience the worse recession in decades. Initially, substitute teaching was a great option but by 2009, due to budget cuts in education, it had all but dried up.

I lay awake wondering if I had made the biggest mistake of my life trying to re-invent myself in my 50s. I knew I didn’t want to be on my own, but also aware that meeting the right person at my stage of life wouldn’t be easy. So I registered for match.com and embarked on a series of coffee, lunch and dinner dates, one or two of which evolved into slightly longer relationships which were never quite right.

And then, I met a Galway man and having heard each other’s backstories, we discovered that our aunts were friends since childhood. He was thoughtful, intensely likeable and made me laugh till I cried.

We married last year, in a quiet ceremony in Ballyvaughan attended by our five children and their partners. We have renovated a cottage in the rural west and are proof that taking midlife risks, scary ones, like moving continents, starting new careers and finding love again at fifty can pay off big time.

 

If you’re a woman at Midlife and Beyond looking for a fiercely supportive community, join our Facebook Community http://cgo.style/FFierceFB

You will be welcomed with open arms. Tap on the link HERE to read more about our Midlife Revolution, our fierce founder and what makes other women fierce.

I also encourage you to share your story in the comments below and to read over the next few days or weeks (depending on how busy you are) the stories of some midlife women from around the world.

 

 

Tagged under: Anna de Marigny, deborah blacoe, Dolores Andrew-Gavin, fierce women, Forever Fierce, foreverfierce day, kerry manning, Kerry Manning Colson, Marie McCabe, Midlife Revolution, Midlife Revolution Campaign 2018

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21 Comments to “ 5 Irish Women share what it means to be Fierce in Midlife”

  1. Karen Brooks says :Reply
    February 19, 2018 at 6:25 pm

    Oh my goodness Hilda. I can so relate to these women’s stories especially Anna’s story as I divorced after 20 years and have wondered if I will ever meet a man that is right for me. I have had a long distance relationship with someone in another country but I do not know if it will ever work out. I know I need to date but the online dating thing scares me. Like Anna, I just don’t know if it will lead anywhere. Thank you to all these FIERCE beauties for sharing their stories.

    Great post! xoxo

    Karen from http://www.wearwithpassion.com

  2. Robin LaMonte says :Reply
    February 19, 2018 at 6:42 pm

    Hilda,

    I love all these women!
    So smart and articulate!
    What a wonderful way to meet fierce women from across the pond!!
    The pond is getting smaller dear friend!

    Happy Forever Fierce Day!
    Robin
    https://helloim50ish.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-forever-fierce/

  3. Debbie Huckeba says :Reply
    February 19, 2018 at 6:44 pm

    Wow love these women’s stories. Very fierce and powerful!!

    Debbie
    styledesignmusings.com

  4. jodie filogomo says :Reply
    February 19, 2018 at 6:47 pm

    You have some fabulous women in your neck of the woods, Hilda!! It was such a wonderful pleasure to read about them, and know that our fierceness is all over the globe!!
    Thanks for joining in on our Fierce Day!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

  5. Dee says :Reply
    February 19, 2018 at 6:52 pm

    Thank you for introducing me to these amazingly fierce women. Ireland is so small that I hope to meet all of you sometime in the future.

    1. Hilda says :Reply
      February 23, 2018 at 9:06 am

      Dee I think I will try to organise a fierce 50 get-together..

  6. Rebecca Phillips says :Reply
    February 19, 2018 at 9:34 pm

    Lovely post….I enjoyed meeting all of these women Hilda!

  7. jacqui says :Reply
    February 19, 2018 at 9:48 pm

    Inspiring ladies, well shared Hilda. This has proved bigger than I expected with so many amazing ladies to read about. Thanks for your wonderful post Hilda. x Jacqui
    http://www.mummabstylish.com

  8. Anna Parkes says :Reply
    February 19, 2018 at 10:57 pm

    Another great post from you Hilda! Thanks for introducing these 5 Fierce women who have every right to feel proud of who they are and what they stand for. I’m with you and them every step of the way!

    Anna x

    1. Hilda says :Reply
      February 23, 2018 at 9:01 am

      Anna ..thank you..looking forward to our next challenge.

  9. belle says :Reply
    February 20, 2018 at 2:06 am

    Hi Hilda! I loved reading your post and the stories shared by your friends. Amazing what life hands us ends up helping what we become! ❤️

  10. Lana says :Reply
    February 20, 2018 at 2:11 am

    Loved your post! So many strong, amazing women. I’m truly inspired!

  11. Jo - Mother of Teenagers says :Reply
    February 20, 2018 at 9:06 am

    Hilda I love this revolution and have really enjoyed the stories of your ladies featured here – all fierce and admirable in their own way.

    When I turned 50 last year I made a commitment to be the best version of myself and not to be simply defined by the number that signalled my new midlife status. I explored new opportunities and looked forward to embracing the second half of my life with as much enthusiasm as the first.

    Unfortunately, as you know my fiftieth year ended with a cancer diagnosis and threw a spanner in the works, but now 2 months on from that fateful day and following treatment I am looking ahead to continuing my journey along this midlife path and picking up where I left off.

    I have always been fiercely loyal to those I value in my life and one thing my illness has taught me is to never take anything for granted, including friends and family. With age comes not only experience but confidence and conviction and looking ahead I intend to make every second count for myself and those I value not only in this fabulous fiftieth decade that I am in but also each one thereafter.

    1. Hilda says :Reply
      February 23, 2018 at 8:31 am

      Jo what a beautiful and thoughtful comment. I am so delighted I discovered you and know that while you have a battle ahead, you are ready and able for the fight, because you too are fierce x

  12. Regan Davidson says :Reply
    February 20, 2018 at 9:41 am

    Thank you for sharing the FABULOUS Fierce Irish sisters. I am striving to be the women the devil say, “oh crap, she is up”. Love that quote. Such fun and inspiring women. Truly enjoyed participating in the Forever Fierce Day campaign with you
    Regan
    http://nifty50andfabulous.com/

  13. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond says :Reply
    February 20, 2018 at 11:24 am

    Great post Hilda and what inspiring and motivating women. I’ve met so many wonderful and empowered women through the Forever Fierce Campaign and it has made me full of pride to be part of this wonderful phase of life.

    1. Hilda says :Reply
      February 20, 2018 at 10:11 pm

      Thanks Sue ..it is a wonderful Movement..

  14. Amy Kennedy says :Reply
    February 21, 2018 at 5:47 am

    Wow, Hilda, these women are all so incredibly gifted at writing their story! It all rings true! Every word! I am encouraged by their strength and perseverance. I so enjoyed your post and the testimony of these great women.

    1. Hilda says :Reply
      February 21, 2018 at 9:39 am

      Thanks Amy. It has been a wonderful campaign.

  15. Shelbee on the Edge says :Reply
    February 22, 2018 at 1:49 pm

    Hilda, thank you for sharing these beautiful women and their stories! I have been so inspired every step of the way in this campaign. “It is in the face of the harder things that you learn how to really be fierce.” That quote from Kerry epitomizes this campaign and midlife for me! Yes, some of us can be inherently fierce, but it is in facing our struggles and overcoming them that we realize we are fierce. Fabulous post!

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    1. Hilda says :Reply
      February 23, 2018 at 8:27 am

      Thanks Michelle it has been a wonderful campaign.

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