THE BEGINNING
Graham and I started our journey in love on Valentine’s Day 40 years ago. It all began on a hockey tour with our club Lorraine H.C. which was based in Dublin’s Phoenix Park. Both of us were single since the previous December and we had already been flirting a bit in the clubhouse after matches.
Anyway, a trip to Galway to play in a hockey tournament gave us the opportunity to flirt some more. And a disco in Galwegians Rugby Club allowed us to take it a step further. We danced together all night. I remember ‘Come On Eileen’ in particular.
We went out on our first date the following Saturday night. And that was it. We got engaged on Valentine’s Day a year later and married in that July. The photo below was taken around that time.
SOCIAL NORMS IN 1980s
Unlike today, it was not the norm to move in together before being married. In any case, my parents would have had a fit. I was the eldest of six girls and my mother constantly reminded me that I should be setting the others a good example.
MARRIAGE
So, we got married and came back to our new home after our honeymoon in France.
Both of us continued working and playing hockey. We loved having our own home.
MOTHERHOOD
Then two years later we were the parents of a beautiful little girl who did not sleep. And that was when the difficulties began. I was back at work (teaching) within a few months and it was tough.
Graham was a very modern dad for the ’80s, taking it in turns to get up at 3 (or 4 if we were lucky) when our darling daughter decided it was morning. But it was not easy. At the time, I thought we would never get through it. We moved house, put the first born in a bed and we got some sleep finally. And then number two daughter arrived, but she was a better sleeper.
But we had plenty of challenges to overcome. Graham was made redundant soon after. I had to have a back operation and money was tight. Remember, we had just moved house and had a bigger mortgage. But we got through it.
In the early days of the blog, I wrote about How to SURVIVE 35 YEARS OF MARRIAGE AND NOT KILL HIM four years ago!
LOVE IS
Do any of you remember the ‘LOVE IS’ cartoons in one of the daily newspapers back in the 1980s?
Graham used to cut out those he felt were appropriate or relevant to us and send them to me. I found the one above when I was searching through some photos. It was so cute. He was and still is a romantic at heart. If they were still in vogue, I think the following would be relevant to our older selves:
LOVE is the glass of LEMON AND GINGER WATER that he brings me every morning.
LOVE is the way he still grabs me around the waist and tells me I’m gorgeous.
LOVE is when he puts petrol in my car.
LOVE is how he plays with our grandsons
LOVE is how he rushes to help our girls
LOVE is when he helps with my blog posts
LOVE is when he is my Insta husband
LOVE is the way he still looks at me across a crowded room. Remember crowded rooms.
LOVE is arguments, slammed doors, making up.
VALENTINE
So love is not just for one day. Love is shown in the little things you do for each other. Do not be afraid to show your love. I wrote a post a few years ago about Valentine and LOVE which you might like to read.
This Valentine’s Day will be different, that’s for sure. We rarely headed out to restaurants in recent years, preferring to eat at home. But what wouldn’t we all give to have a lovely meal handed to us this year. Well, the next best thing is a romantic takeaway. Here is a link to some of those on offer from Loving Dublin
We have just bought each other walking boots, so that’s our presents covered! A bottle of bubbly will be consumed and we will reminisce and probably watch a film.
The first photo below was taken in the 1990s and the second one a few years ago. Our love may have been tested at various times but it has survived those tests and is stronger than ever.
40 years since our first dance, our first kiss on the 14th February. And I do feel privileged to have had these forty years. I think the past year has taught us to appreciate even more what we have and to live every day as if it is our last.
I know that some of you have lost loved ones recently and will be feeling particularly lonely this Valentine’s Day. But remember, love is all around you in family, friends and grandchildren. And never give up on love. Always be open to opportunities to love again.
And if any of you would like to share your love stories or what makes your relationship special, I would love to hear them.
I feel a little bit like an evangelical preacher spouting from the pulpit about LOVE…Apologies.
Remember, it is not MONEY that makes the world go around.
It is LOVE.
X
Hilda
What a sweet, sweet story! You were both gorgeous then, and sure are now! Thanks so much for sharing your long happy life together with us.
Thank you Mary Katherine for reading. We are certainly blessed. x
Hubby and I met on February 14th, 1999. I get it Hilda. Happy Valentine’s Day to us.
What a lovely bright spot in the day to read your love story. I’ve been married for 56 years to a wonderful man too and know how lucky I am .
We enjoy each other’s others company and laugh at the same things. Also love to cook and eat good food. It’s a great life!,
Dee 56 years! I hope to get to that. Every day together is a blessing. And a sense of humour and a positive attitude like yours helps xxx
I’ve seen that last photo before, it’s such a beautiful one. You both haven’t changed that much, from the earlier photos. It’s the best thing in life when you found the one!
You are kind Nancy. We are lucky to still have each other xxx
Oh this is so lovely!!! Hilda, that first photo is so wonderful. Thank you for sharing your journey of love.
Thanks Loretta. When you know you know… as you know!!
No apologies, Hilda! I loved your story and Graham sounds a lot like my James, whom I still miss, 10 years after his death. Happy Valentine’s Day to you both. xoxox, Brenda
Ah Brenda, thank you. And I know you miss James and I enjoy reading about you both and looking forward to your book. xxx
So true about love being more important than money! I really enjoyed hearing about you and your hubby! This was lovely! I applaud him for dancing! My hubby is not a fan, even though we took a dance class right before our wedding! I loved to learn swing dancing, but with all of that knowledge, it was the boxed step on our wedding day! Nerves got the better of us.
I love what you wrote about your hubby and definitions of love. It is often the little things to that makes times special
Love all the pictures too, my friend!
Thanks for linking!
jess xx
Enjoy Vday weekend. We are doing a wine tasting ( with 3 bottles I bought) and chocolate pairing ( with truffles)
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
Thanks Jess ..it is all about the little things you do for each other. Enjoy the wine and truffles. Yum xx
I read this on my phone a couple of days ago and so enjoyed the OLDER PHOTOS!
I have been under the weather as they say here not feeling well at all…….
so apologizes for my delayed comment!
Now, did I pick up on the fact you were both MARRIED before or was that my imagination taking FLIGHT?
It looks like YOU have FOUND EACH OTHER AND SO HAPPY YOU ARE HAPPY in LOCKDOWN TOGETHER!
MY guy does not sit still for a moment so am not looking forward to his retirement days!BUT THAN AGAIN HE NEVER WILL!
WHAT A TREAT YOU TWO HAVE EACH OTHER FOR VALENTINES DAY!
WE are LUCKY COUPLES INDEED!
XOXO
Ah I am sorry you are not feeling well. Is it Lady Windemere? Such a lovely name for a not so lovely condition. Hope you feel better soon. No not married before. And still in lockdown here and the weather is miserable. But we are staying busy and watching good telly. Have managed to get out for walks every day despite high winds. xxx
Loved this post Hilda. I think this year marks a special year where we have been forced to stay at home this last year. It’s gone a lot better for us than I imagined it would xx
I just wish our weather would improve now. The last week has been horrific…
That was great Hilda, I really enjoyed reading it and can identify with a lot of it. I loved the ‘love is’ cartoons too and regularly cut them out of the paper. I’m not sure what I did with them, but they always made me smile. And your more ‘mature’ captions are also similar to my own experience, especially being hugged around my waist |(usually when I’m busy cooking) and being told that I still light up a room when I enter it (that might sometimes be the light of fury :)) The photos are beautiful, every single one of them. We met on 9thFebruary 48 years ago when we were both in Leaving Cert year. Over the next 5 years we broke up a few times, because I felt we were too young to be ‘going steady’ but we’d invariably meet up within a month (usually at a dance) and we were back going stead again. We married at 22 on St Patricks Day and I was in hospital having our first baby the following St Patricks day. Thanks for giving us a chance to reflect as well we to enjoy your story,
Oh my goodness. I cannot believe you met 48 years ago and were married so young. And you look so young…. We are blessed but I know that we both appreciate what we have. Enjoy every minute. And may we have many more. Thanks for reading Bernadette and commenting. xxxx
Oh how wonderful – what a lovely post. I’m so with, you don’t need one day to show your love – my hubby tells me each and every day if not in speech in daily activities – that’s what love is. Have a super week Hilda. Jacqui x
Ah thanks Jacqui. Yes we are lucky to have that in our partners. x